A man walked into a hardware store. "How much will one cost?" asked the customer. "Twenty pence", replied the shopkeeper. "And how much will twelve cost?". "Forty pence" was the reply. "Right. I'll take one hundred and twelve". "Okay. That will be sixty pence, please", said the shopkeeper. What was the customer buying?
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Deep in the forest was found the body of a man who was wearing only swimming trunks, snorkel and facemask. The nearest lake was 8 miles away and the sea was 100 miles away. How had he died?

Solution: During a forest fire, a fire-fighting plane had scooped up some water from the lake to drop on the fire. The plane had accidentally picked up the unfortunate swimmer. (Supposedly based on a true incident!)